I Doubt Myself As A Leader
What follows has been submitted anonymously by a community member. Please DO add your thoughts and advice as a comment ❤
My Secret Frustration:
Kelly, you say you know everyone in your community is a leader whether they realize it yet or not. When I heard you say it I snorted. I’m not a leader! I’ve never been a leader. I don’t want to be a leader. Wait. Do I? Might I?
I haven’t shaken the question. Do I want to be a leader?
All I can think about now is how much I doubt myself as a leader.
How does someone actually become a leader?
How do I know?
I feel silly asking.
Helpful & Encouraging Responses From The Community:
Pam Hamilton of Building Visibility shares…
This is a great question! For a long time, I didn’t see myself as a leader either. But, I was part of a spiritual organization, and early on they asked me to take a leadership role, doing some things that seemed to come naturally for me. It was things I had been doing as a way to give back. Then they asked me to take over making that happen in a small area. But, they didn’t call it leadership. . . if they had, I would have said I didn’t think I could do it. By the time they used the word leader in connection with what I was doing, I was surprised, but also much less afraid of the word. And, my leadership role expanded.
Here’s the thing, I’m awkwardly trying to say, being a leader is kind of something you grow into. But, mostly, it’s a leap of faith. You have to decide to lean into owning being a leader and then be one. Because leadership is in what you do. Find a community you’re willing to serve out of love and passion, even if you sometimes fall flat on your face. Then serve that community to the best of your ability. That’s leadership.
You can take courses and stuff on this and that, but really, it all starts with that leap of faith.
Shannon Smith Appetite For Design shares…
Oh, man, I could have written this myself! I actually said something similar to my biz coach last week. There’s a part of me that wants to, but there’s another part of me that self-doubts I have anything to offer. It’s a mindset issue for sure.
I keep trying to remind myself what Kelly has said in the past that there are leaders/coaches at all levels and there is somebody who is where you have been and can learn from that. Your audience is out there! You just have to find it. ❤️
And really, we’re all “leaders” in some way even if we aren’t calling ourselves that or focusing on that aspect, but every client you come in contact with and do work for, you are actually leading in some way whether you realize or acknowledge it.
Teresa Miller of Freestyle Author shares…
I can seriously relate to this! And yet…
It’s very easy in the online world to only see the persona that people present to you as their “professional face.” But when you get to know them, you realize that EVERYONE has these thoughts about being put in the leader role. Yep, @KellyMcCausey too. I know, I’ve heard her talk about it.
Discovering the leader inside ourselves:
I am the oldest of three sisters and I was ALWAYS a leader, whether I realized it or not. I naturally fall into the role of guiding people and helping people and (my sisters would say) bossing people. But when I started my online business, I felt completely inadequate. Even after I had learned a LOT and had a lot to offer people, I felt insecure about being that leader. I still kept buying other people’s training in MY area of expertise to find out what I didn’t know. Very often, it wasn’t much. I’d buy a premium course from someone and realize “hey, I could have done that!” Or sometimes “I could have done that BETTER!” Eventually, I did start putting my own stuff out there, but it was scary.
Some things to consider: if you are BRAND-NEW at something, you aren’t yet ready to lead others in that thing. But once you start moving past brand-new, you’re ready to reach back a hand to the people just behind you. Someone else who is brand-new wants to learn from someone who is just ahead of them. The top-level guru will be too intimidating to them.
See one – do one – teach one:
I always think of something that I learned from Grey’s Anatomy (the TV show, not the medical textbook. I think that one is spelled differently anyway) Their method of teaching surgery is: See one – do one- teach one. I always keep that in the back of my mind and know that if I have seen something, I can do it. If I have done something, I can teach it.
A favorite quote:
“If you want to learn something, read about it. If you want to understand something, write about it. If you want to master something, teach it.” ― Yogi Bhajan
Of course, you’re going to be nervous about it. But it also feels very, very good.
Lynn Leusch of Create Scout shares…
PLEASE don’t feel silly about asking these important questions. In fact think of it as you are LEADING the way to getting answers not only for yourself, but for others who have similar questions, but haven’t yet asked. See you’re already showing signs of being a leader.
Do I want to be a leader?
How does someone become a leader?
How do I know?
As Theresa mentioned earlier, Leadership comes in different stages and levels. When we learn and apply something we have learned from someone else, we are the student. When we, share and teach something we have learned with others then our role changes to that of being the teacher which is another name for a leader. That probably is leadership in its simplest form, but it’s important to not discount the importance of our personal and business growth, even at its simplest form.
Just show up:
One of the things that Kelly says that always sticks in my head is how important it is to Just Show Up. Showing up to support the community that a leader is part of takes commitment. If you are someone who is committed to showing up to support others, then you continue to be on the right track towards being a leader.
I looked up the definition of the word leader and here is one of the simplest explanations: a leader is a person who leads a group or organization.
Nowhere does it say how many people have to be in the group or organization.
Since we don’t know at this time, what your passion and business is, I imagine there have been times when you have shared your knowledge/experience with someone that has helped them. Right? Just continue loving and sharing what you do and what you know best. There are others who are just waiting to hear and learn what you have to teach them.
Are You Born a Leader or Can You Learn to Lead?:
I came across this interesting quick read saying: “Effective leaders control their destiny. They take control of their development and use the training opportunities that are available to them. They use training programs to get the job done and to learn from every one of their experiences.”
Hmmm…. I’m a believer that all of us who are a part of the Love People and Make Money community have the right opportunities in place to learn to become a leader and from there continue to learn how to become a great leader.
As Pam mentioned earlier, sometimes it just takes a small leap of faith. (By the way the definition of faith is believing without seeing).
There are people in this world waiting to hear from what you have to share/teach them. If you’re willing to take that small leap of faith and share it with others in your community then I’m thinking the leader in you is waiting to shine bright.
Wishing you discernment to discover the leader inside you and boldness to begin…
Final Thoughts From Kelly
This question is so precious to me. Nothing in my childhood or young adult life invited me into leadership.
My first experience as a leader was with children. First, running a family day care and later leading Kids Church classes. When working with kids, just being the tall grown up in the room gives you the leadership vibe, right?
It would be years yet before I began to think of myself as a leader in other ways. Coming on staff at church created a big invitation and I’m grateful that our pastor emphasized leadership training for everyone on staff and lay ministry. I had opportunities to grow and practice leadership in a space where I got a LOT of feedback. (Ever been part of a small church? LOL!)
I found my sweet spot in leadership when I began to take initiative to recruit volunteers. I found I was really good at inviting others to take action and be of service. Lifting others up into leadership, delegating, organizing – it came easier to me than most. To think I might never have discovered these gifts – inspires gratitude in me. Being part of a community at church shaped the me that embraces and builds communities online today.
God whispered to me years ago, ‘The people I bring to you are all leaders, some just don’t know it.’ and I smile at this, knowing that describes me back in those early years.
If you want to explore leadership opportunities, maybe we can talk sometime and brainstorm possibilities for you! You can learn more about my coaching options here.
We all have secret frustrations and I invite you to share yours. Submit your anonymous question, comment or story here.