I Can’t Let People See Me Struggle

November 3

What follows has been submitted anonymously by a community member. Please DO add your thoughts and advice as a comment ❤

This post came in right after the Get Past Your Sh*t book launch in October 2020.

My Secret Frustration:

I have to thank you for making the secret frustration forum available. This is like Dear Abby in the newspaper when I was growing up. I’m not ready to talk with anybody about this – – watching the book launch on Thursday night, I sat and cried.

I didn’t apply to be part of the book even though I wanted to and stared at the application form many times. I didn’t believe I had a good enough story to tell and wouldn’t fit in. When several contributors said they feared the same thing – – how do I describe the feeling?

Listening to everyone talk and it dawned on me how the whole thing proves the point of the book. The writers wrote their stories in the middle of their own insecurities. They got past their SHIT to tell their stories. The point of the whole thing smacked me upside the head in a new way.

I am reading the book now, crying more, admiring everyone more.

I have to admit I wasn’t ready to be part of the book because I am not even close to being past my shit and can’t let people see me struggle.

Helpful & Encouraging Responses From The Community:

Tina Piety of VA By The Bay shares…

It can be so hard to step out of your comfort zone. My first response is to go and hide. But I want to sell low-content products and I can’t do that if I’m hiding. After years of “playing” and uncertainty, I decided I really want to do this but can’t on my own. So, I joined Kelly’s Stretch Yourself Challenge. It helped me to get moving in my business, but more than that, it introduced me to a fantastic community. I have never felt judged in my posts or received feedback that made me feel bad. And I’ve seen the same in other posts I’ve read. I believe you are in a very nurturing place where you will find support and encouragement to grow and let people see you struggle. Take advantage of this community and share and ask for help in the forums. I’m rooting for you!

Val Selby of Your Bold Life shares…

Dear Anonymous,

I didn’t get a lot of work done last week and I didn’t pay attention to the fact it was because the book was coming out. I was in my denial bubble until the day before when the emotions started hitting me like a mack truck.

It was so scary for me to send my first draft in. I wanted someone to push my finger down on the send button. Then rewrites were a little better because that first time was over.

Writing about it all has been a giant therapy process for me. To be honest, when I initially hit send on my final draft I felt like a fraud. “Why are you pretending that you are over your shit? You are NOT over your shit.”

Last week proved that I have moved on from my story in a positive way. I read it and it brought back some of the emotions of being there, but I didn’t want to wallow there like I have in the past. Then when I realized how much I’ve done since that moment I decided to be damn proud of myself.

I dislike being vulnerable and allowing others to see they’ve hurt me. It felt like I was giving them power while showing I was weak.

I’m learning that is not the case.

Knowing so many of the other co-authors well, I know you can reach out to any of us at any time for a chat BIG HUGS

Karin Crompton of KarinCrompton.com shares…

Oh Anonymous, sending you a big hug.

Timing is everything, and it sounds like the timing wasn’t right for you on this one. Nothing wrong with that. ❤️ I hope there’s no beating yourself up over it but instead, an appreciation for the stories and more healing and insight for you. Enjoy the book and know you’re not alone.

Lynn Leusch of Create Scout shares…

As I read every word of your submission…along with the comments that have been lovingly shared with you, I am sharing in your tears. I too get so frustrated with myself for allowing my SH*T to consume me and overtake the goals that I so dream about. The stories in the book launch are indeed so inspiring.

Fear and doubt are such cruel intruders in our lives.

The beautiful thing is we are in the best place we can possibly be in working on getting past all that stuff that holds us back. The amount of encouragement and support right here in The Mastermind Hub is just waiting to springboard us every time we reach out for help and guidance.

Though it may not initially seem like it, writing out your secret frustration and asking it to be posted is a step towards bravery. You are not alone AND one step away from Getting Past Your…(well, you know… ).

Kat Sturtz of Rocking Your Path shares…

Fears, we all have them. They don’t go away. Some may diminish in strength over time; others can strength despite beating them back time and again. Some we are able to navigate more easily than others. Owning up to a fear existing is a huge step, and voicing it out loud, another big leap forward.

Final Thoughts From Kelly

You’re not alone in feeling regret about not jumping into the book project. I’ve received multiple notes from friends and community members who express similar feelings.

I love what you identified, that you can’t let people see you struggle. This is a HUGE personal insight and now that you’ve spotted it – you can do something about it.

I too had a big problem with letting people see me do things imperfectly. With coaching, I found I had soul deep belief that I was somehow bad and wrong. To deal with this I had to prove I wasn’t! I couldn’t admit when I made a mistake. Couldn’t let anyone see me proven wrong. Couldn’t be seen to be bad – so I had to be GOOD all the time.

Being driven by a negative belief like this is no fun and there is freedom available. You can overcome the stuff that holds you back and be free to show up imperfectly. There’s amazing joy for me in no longer trying to prove anything. I can and DO let people see me struggle all the time.  The book project being a perfect example – I struggled through nearly every step LOL!

If you’re interested in digging in to discover and do something about your limiting thoughts, I’m so game to chat!

You can learn more about my coaching options here.

We all have secret frustrations and I invite you to share yours. Submit your anonymous question, comment or story here.


My Secret Frustration

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